"Hello. How are you today? What do you need?"
[To be fair, I don't always necessarily need something from Mom when I call her. But mostly I do.]
"I need to know what you put into your avocado."
"What I put in my avocado? What the hell does that mean?"
"Sorry. I'm at work and distracted. I meant to ask, what do you put in your guacamole?"
[To be fair, her guacamole is awesome.]
"Oh, OK. Avocado, Lawry's seasoned salt, garlic, red onion, tomato, lime juice."
"I have no idea. Just make it. Why are you making guacamole, anyway?"
"You're having guacamole for dinner?"
"Well, no. We're having tacos, with guacamole on the side."
"OK then. Don't forget the Lawry's seasoned salt. It is the secret."
A few hours later I realized that Mom's "recipe" -- otherwise known as "list of ingredients" -- did not include anything spicy. So I called her again.
"Do you put in a jalapeno?"
"Do I put a jalapeno in what?"
"Oh shut up, you know I'm talking about your guacamole."
"No. Just some hot sauce."
Husband had scrawled "one lonesome jalapeno" on the grocery list. I crossed it off the page.
I have often mentioned Mom's well-known disdain for ingredient measurements. Hence, she wanted me to publish her guacamole recipe as follows:
avocadoHowever, even given Mom's charming disgust for method, I like to keep this space a full-service blog. So when I got home tonight I started measuring.
onion -- red
Just in time for Cinco de Mayo!
This recipe is easily halved. In fact, if you're only looking for a little snacking guacamole, or perhaps some to use as a condiment for tacos, I would suggest halving it.
5 avocados, cut into pieces
2 t. Lawry's seasoned salt
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 c. red onion, finely chopped
1 medium tomato, diced
1/4 c. freshly-squeezed lime juice
Hot sauce (I like Tabasco), to taste
Place the avocados in a large bowl. Using a potato masher or a fork, mash the avocados until they're relatively smooth (leave a little chunkiness; it adds to the pleasing texture). Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well.
Makes about 3 cups of guacamole. If you're going to store leftover guacamole, do so in an airtight container, with a piece of plastic wrap pushed down on the surface of the guac. Also throw in one of the avocado pits; Mom swears this helps keep the leftover guacamole from turning brown.
Previously, on A Stove With A House Around It:
One year ago: honey biscuits
Two years ago: mole poblano